Dear recruiter...

If you are a recruiter wishing to contact me with regards to some job opportunity, please read this.

If you have a deal with an employer:

• I expect you to disclose the name and website of that employer within the first sentence of your initial message to me. 
• If they seem interesting, I will contact them to verify that they are in fact working with you, before I respond to you. How well they handle this communication is part of my evaluation process for a prospective employer. 
• If you want to help the process, you can point me to the person within the company to whom I should address my inquiry.

If you do not have a deal with an employer:

(Or if you are otherwise unwilling to do as the first paragraph says)

• You are still free to try and push my C.V. / Resume to any employers you wish, and sell it for whatever you can get.  I cannot prevent you from doing so.  However:

I expect to hear directly from those employers, not from you. 

• Let me expound on this, in case it was not clear: 
• I do not care to hear how awesome the job is; the fact that you utilize secrecy as part of your process means that absolutely nothing of what you say can be trusted.
• An employer working with random recruiters instead of doing their own hiring already has one big minus in my book; my interest is quite low to begin with.
• I do not care whether it is necessary for you to contact me first so as to appear to the employer as if you have filtered me; you will not contact me. Sorry, not sorry.
• If you nonetheless do contact me:
• your e-mails will go directly to spam (and behind my custom e-mail address I use gmail, which learns) 
• your cold calls will go unanswered, and if I mistakenly answer, I will hang-up on your face. 
• Not only you are generally a waste of time, but many of you are annoying, indiscrete, inconsiderate, and are known to have very low morals. As far as I am concerned, you do not exist. Please stay like that. Thanks.